“To show you I finally found buoyancy.” Love this line.
There is a lot I really like about what you’re doing with this piece. Taking a quirky news factoid and making it poetry. I’m in. There’s gold here. There’s so much room for you to explore within this piece, to build and extrapolate on the misadventures of all these ducks — visually and metaphorically.
In particular these lines, “I want you to see everything each of those ducks went through. / Because it’s beautiful how the damage can make something perfect.” It feels like you could unpack this idea with vibrant visuals. Similar with the line, “And the ones who survived the tidal waves, the tsunamis, the shifting of tectonic plates.” Might be rad if you explored how they survived. Really leaning into the visual of being a rubber duck lost at sea.
By the end of the piece I really wanted “those ducks” to become “these ducks” — you’ve collected them, they’re here now. Try exploring an ending where you actually are able to collect them all. What would that look like? Where would you keep them? What does each one represent?