I like this title and the ideas you’re exploring here. I want to focus on the first two lines.
Until depression freight trains
against every vulnerable part of you
My gut instinct is that you have more to say here. My guts says you know more than you’re letting on in these two lines. I’d like to challenge you to unpack this opening statement with searing, unflinching, honest visuals. — What is depression? What does a freight train do? How does depression behave like a freight train? What are your vulnerable parts? Do vulnerable parts bend or break? What are they made of? What happens when a vulnerable part and a depression train collide?