Reply To: Week 2 Posts – November 28th

Home Forums Hauled Off and Hit – Workshop Forum Week 2 Posts – November 28th Reply To: Week 2 Posts – November 28th

#19050
Anonymous

Victoria, thank you for sharing this piece. A lot to simmer on, many emotions and experiences aptly portrayed in succinct, well-edited lines. The first stanza does a great job of setting a scene. If I can give any constructive note here, I think it’d be to re-evaluate the first line of the second stanza.

I am at the mercy of my inner child’s fear.

There’s either something to be said here that needs to be said more complexly, or this line can probably be cut. Just my opinion, take it or leave. This is a powerful piece, thank you again for sharing.