Home › Forums › Hauled Off and Hit – Workshop Forum › Week 2 Posts – November 28th › Reply To: Week 2 Posts – November 28th
November 30, 2021 at 4:00 pm
#19052
i was really invested in the metaphor. currency exchange. overall i dig the structure of the piece, but feel it could be a bit stronger and more deliberate; i started to get lost in the line breaks in the transition between the second and third stanza. i was not a fan of the second use of the word ‘whores’ — and the kindergarten reference in the last stanza also threw me off a bit. as a reader it can be jarring to read certain words in certain contexts.
i really like a lot of what this piece had to say, overall it feels like you could dive deeper into the idea of “every body is a sex worker”