Home › Forums › Hauled Off and Hit – Workshop Forum › Week 3 Posts – December 5th › Reply To: Week 3 Posts – December 5th
December 2, 2021 at 4:45 pm
#19114
Participant
I think I know what you mean, Erin. For me it’s like the shift of the second stanza from the first is almost too abrupt, maybe? I really wish I could articulate that better but it seems to be in the same ballpark of what you’re feeling.
Tracy – this is so, so fantastic. For “I’m no longer elsewhere, I’m over here” do you think getting rid of the word ‘over’ works? Seems punchier to me that way.