Reply To: Week 3 Posts – December 5th

Home Forums Hauled Off and Hit – Workshop Forum Week 3 Posts – December 5th Reply To: Week 3 Posts – December 5th

#19114
Patrick Szajner
Participant

I think I know what you mean, Erin. For me it’s like the shift of the second stanza from the first is almost too abrupt, maybe? I really wish I could articulate that better but it seems to be in the same ballpark of what you’re feeling.

Tracy – this is so, so fantastic. For “I’m no longer elsewhere, I’m over here” do you think getting rid of the word ‘over’ works? Seems punchier to me that way.