Reply To: Week 3 Posts – December 5th

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#19175
Anonymous

Hey Frankie, it’s great to see your work! You’re packing a lot of heat in this and some killer factoids. There were a few moments in this that struck me as having some untapped potential you might want to explore further. But, hey, always remember that it’s what you find interesting that’s most important so if this doesn’t resonate, just toss it out!

“We are made up of small facts.” — For some reason, the idea of firm/fragile facts came to mind here and I thought that was a really interesting way of thinking about so many of the facts that cause tension within families. Like there are fragile facts that everyone knows are not true, but serve as tape to keep things barely held together and then there are firm facts that will not move when pushed, will break your hand when punched, etc.

“The next time I’m asked to say grace, I want to tell my family that forgiveness and acceptance are the same damn thing. Two tusks on” — [An elephant that I long to be gored by.] I really like the idea of such visceral brutal imagery applied to what are deeply comforting things (forgiveness/acceptance). I know it would mean revising the rest of this stanza but I think some powerful honesty like this might add an element that doesn’t feel fully there yet in this original version.