Reply To: Week 4 Posts – December 12th

Home Forums Hauled Off and Hit – Workshop Forum Week 4 Posts – December 12th Reply To: Week 4 Posts – December 12th

Patrick Szajner

Seth! This is so fuckin beautiful, man.

gorged on an orgy of carbohydrates

Absolutely love how this line jumps out of my mouth when I say it out loud.

it started with the greek
the skewered souvlaki with squeezed tzatziki
now residing somewhere below my belly button
maybe in what my family called my hollow leg
all that was left of the leftovers
a styrofoam of starch and the scent
of lemon oregano and garlic

Just some suggestions I think would make it a little punchier here.

I remember wondering:

I think Buddy was right when he shared feedback about wondering…us poets seem to like to wonder a lot. And we all say as much. “Find a new way to wonder” – Buddy Wakefield.

Great stuff!